It has been eternity since I wrote on this blog. This post is exclusive about a friend whom I would miss from the rest of my life. It was a time when we knew little about the world outside. The only world we knew was our own world, our School. Our mind had little of our current hatred and anger, we were free from worldly troubles, the only trouble we had were mostly homeworks and tuition.
I moved from a school called Metro matriculation to Loyola Matriculation School during my first standard, little friends I had and my routine was finish school and going back to tuition. My life was even more confined to studies and little amount of play. In fact, I knew no one from school as a friend, I spoke hardly with anyone.
There was only one guy whom I spoke well, his name was Sam Jacob Phillips. In a nutshell, he was a genius, he was the class leader, always gets the first rank in class, wins the general proficiency during the school end awards. One can say that he was the Sachin Tendulkar or Michael Jordan of our class (he was not much into sports though).
I will cherish the days I had spent with him in School. We had a common problem, we had allergies to shoes (we both were scared of geckos in the bathroom), so we both were exempted from wearing shoes in School, probably that might have made us come closer, I am not sure. He was very kind to me. He used to make up ghost stories for me (he was a highly talented guy, he told believable ghost stories even at 2nd standard) and the protagonist were Andrew, James and Jones.I still remember the weapons that they used, Andrew used a long sword, James used a gun which used coins as bullets and Jones used his bare hands. I forgot most of the stories, but the image of the heroes still linger in my mind. He even used to draw the weapons in his note book. I just sit in awe and listen to those beautiful stories. I wonder whether the characters were inspired from the Bible, I ll never know.
Every year, I wanted to sit near him (sometime I miss sitting near him). Every year when the time of the school tour comes, he is the one who calls my home for permission from my parents. He was my guide in everything I did, he directs me how many chocolates to bring on my birthday to class, and he would be the one to distribute the "extra" chocolates. I just did like a puppy who would do tricks his master would ask from it. He was like a teacher inside the school for me.
I remember only one instance where I got into a fight with him, but I so wanted to make up with him and we did make up quite soon. When there was a circumstance where we had to move to Tuticorin, I refused to come out of this school for this one friend of mine. It was hard for my parents, but I didn't want to lose my only friend, I wouldn't give in a inch for my transfer.
There was a year when I was ahead of him in the General Proficiency (I came second). It was no fault of him, he could attend the Quarterly Exam due to illness which worked against his favor and he lost it to me and another friend of mine. He cried a lot, I was just standing there and I wasnt able to console him. I just wanted to give my award to him and move out, I couldn't bear him crying before me. He did get another award, but in one of the photos it can be seen that his cheeks have become red because of crying that evening. I was both dreaded and happy on that day.
He used to invite us during lunch time to his house so we can watch cricket matches at his place. We were not allowed to go out of School during lunch unless if you have a gate pass, but we used to sneak past along with the crowd and into his home. he is used to live in the top floor of an apartment near our School. It was funny days, when we had to duck from the watchman of our school from catching us.
It was difficult when the only friend who understands you moves away from you. It did happen though, if I remember vaguely after 8th standard, he moved somewhere I didn't know. Probably one of the difficult year for me when he left school, I started to involve myself in other sporting activities as a diversion. It still left a deep scar which still lingers on, I vowed that I would meet him again sometime.
Four years passed and his memory was very faint in my brain, time couldn't heal the scar either. The days of internet was growing, my hopes of meeting him grew a lot. I was in my 12th standard, unusually for me there were new friends for me, people started staying with me in my house for studying, those were another set of glory days for me. One day through one of my friends, I heard that he was still in Chennai and they were going to the same coaching center for the entrance exams. I urged my friends to call him to my house (as most of friends were at my house during those days). He did come to my house, with a French beard, my friend was back. I was happy beyond imagination on that day, we watched movies the whole day and enjoyed ourselves. If I remember he came over for couple of more days. I thought I had got my friend back and I can visit him frequently.
I heard he got a seat in KMC for MBBS, I was very happy for him, then I become busy with my studies and I couldn't contact him and I lost touch again. This time I was very confident of meeting him again. We had the internet and I had developed lots of friends, this gave me immense confidence.
Again the pain sets in, scar becomes bigger now, I still had hope. The friends I had in my college days reminded me of him, they were very understanding, that reduced the amount of pain I had, I was returning to normal. I vowed to fight on, I started asking my college friends who had lots of friends in KMC about him, everywhere I hit a donut. they said they have never heard of a guy like that, it was very shattering, my heart started to sink. Did he go for some other college which I didnt know ? Questions started to pop in and it was quite difficult where I had missed him.
Then there was Orkut. I thought this could easily find him because almost everyone was using orkut, so I started searching for him in orkut, I also searched in KMC groups in hope of finding him, again I couldn't find him anywhere. I had to move to Coimbatore for my master degree. The people I met in Coimbatore were just amazing, my stay at 18/11 would be etched forever, I wont forget the people there and the things I had learn't from them, but it did take my mind of Sam. I still had hope of seeing him one day.
I get a job in Chennai and come back to Chennai for work. I think during my second year of work, the dreaded news arrived, some of my friends were speaking about old friends and when Sam's name popped up, one of them informed us that he is Dead. What ? Dead ? This cannot be true, this is unfair, ridiculous, I kept on ranting over. This cannot be happening, my friend , he is gone, gone forever. I came to know the reason of death was suicide. Suicide ? Crazy! He was just crazy. Why would a guy like him commit suicide. Heart broken and shattered I start to think about my friend whom I will never see again. I have so much friends around me who have reduced this pain for me.
August 1 was celebrated as Friendship day and his birthday was on August 5th. I was thinking about him during his birthday week. I miss you my friend, I ll miss you forever, you will always be a star in the beautiful night sky for me.
I dont know if I was his best friend, but he was my only friend in my school days. He will shine on, whenever I watch over the skies, I ll remember him and whenever I listen Pink Floyd's "Shine on you Crazy Diamond", I get reminded of him. Sometimes I just listen to that song forever. I also get reminded of him when I am lonely, it reminds of the days when we were having fun. He was a diamond and a crazy one too, he will shine on forever. The song is dedicated to him.
I moved from a school called Metro matriculation to Loyola Matriculation School during my first standard, little friends I had and my routine was finish school and going back to tuition. My life was even more confined to studies and little amount of play. In fact, I knew no one from school as a friend, I spoke hardly with anyone.
There was only one guy whom I spoke well, his name was Sam Jacob Phillips. In a nutshell, he was a genius, he was the class leader, always gets the first rank in class, wins the general proficiency during the school end awards. One can say that he was the Sachin Tendulkar or Michael Jordan of our class (he was not much into sports though).
I will cherish the days I had spent with him in School. We had a common problem, we had allergies to shoes (we both were scared of geckos in the bathroom), so we both were exempted from wearing shoes in School, probably that might have made us come closer, I am not sure. He was very kind to me. He used to make up ghost stories for me (he was a highly talented guy, he told believable ghost stories even at 2nd standard) and the protagonist were Andrew, James and Jones.I still remember the weapons that they used, Andrew used a long sword, James used a gun which used coins as bullets and Jones used his bare hands. I forgot most of the stories, but the image of the heroes still linger in my mind. He even used to draw the weapons in his note book. I just sit in awe and listen to those beautiful stories. I wonder whether the characters were inspired from the Bible, I ll never know.
Every year, I wanted to sit near him (sometime I miss sitting near him). Every year when the time of the school tour comes, he is the one who calls my home for permission from my parents. He was my guide in everything I did, he directs me how many chocolates to bring on my birthday to class, and he would be the one to distribute the "extra" chocolates. I just did like a puppy who would do tricks his master would ask from it. He was like a teacher inside the school for me.
I remember only one instance where I got into a fight with him, but I so wanted to make up with him and we did make up quite soon. When there was a circumstance where we had to move to Tuticorin, I refused to come out of this school for this one friend of mine. It was hard for my parents, but I didn't want to lose my only friend, I wouldn't give in a inch for my transfer.
There was a year when I was ahead of him in the General Proficiency (I came second). It was no fault of him, he could attend the Quarterly Exam due to illness which worked against his favor and he lost it to me and another friend of mine. He cried a lot, I was just standing there and I wasnt able to console him. I just wanted to give my award to him and move out, I couldn't bear him crying before me. He did get another award, but in one of the photos it can be seen that his cheeks have become red because of crying that evening. I was both dreaded and happy on that day.
He used to invite us during lunch time to his house so we can watch cricket matches at his place. We were not allowed to go out of School during lunch unless if you have a gate pass, but we used to sneak past along with the crowd and into his home. he is used to live in the top floor of an apartment near our School. It was funny days, when we had to duck from the watchman of our school from catching us.
It was difficult when the only friend who understands you moves away from you. It did happen though, if I remember vaguely after 8th standard, he moved somewhere I didn't know. Probably one of the difficult year for me when he left school, I started to involve myself in other sporting activities as a diversion. It still left a deep scar which still lingers on, I vowed that I would meet him again sometime.
Four years passed and his memory was very faint in my brain, time couldn't heal the scar either. The days of internet was growing, my hopes of meeting him grew a lot. I was in my 12th standard, unusually for me there were new friends for me, people started staying with me in my house for studying, those were another set of glory days for me. One day through one of my friends, I heard that he was still in Chennai and they were going to the same coaching center for the entrance exams. I urged my friends to call him to my house (as most of friends were at my house during those days). He did come to my house, with a French beard, my friend was back. I was happy beyond imagination on that day, we watched movies the whole day and enjoyed ourselves. If I remember he came over for couple of more days. I thought I had got my friend back and I can visit him frequently.
I heard he got a seat in KMC for MBBS, I was very happy for him, then I become busy with my studies and I couldn't contact him and I lost touch again. This time I was very confident of meeting him again. We had the internet and I had developed lots of friends, this gave me immense confidence.
Again the pain sets in, scar becomes bigger now, I still had hope. The friends I had in my college days reminded me of him, they were very understanding, that reduced the amount of pain I had, I was returning to normal. I vowed to fight on, I started asking my college friends who had lots of friends in KMC about him, everywhere I hit a donut. they said they have never heard of a guy like that, it was very shattering, my heart started to sink. Did he go for some other college which I didnt know ? Questions started to pop in and it was quite difficult where I had missed him.
Then there was Orkut. I thought this could easily find him because almost everyone was using orkut, so I started searching for him in orkut, I also searched in KMC groups in hope of finding him, again I couldn't find him anywhere. I had to move to Coimbatore for my master degree. The people I met in Coimbatore were just amazing, my stay at 18/11 would be etched forever, I wont forget the people there and the things I had learn't from them, but it did take my mind of Sam. I still had hope of seeing him one day.
I get a job in Chennai and come back to Chennai for work. I think during my second year of work, the dreaded news arrived, some of my friends were speaking about old friends and when Sam's name popped up, one of them informed us that he is Dead. What ? Dead ? This cannot be true, this is unfair, ridiculous, I kept on ranting over. This cannot be happening, my friend , he is gone, gone forever. I came to know the reason of death was suicide. Suicide ? Crazy! He was just crazy. Why would a guy like him commit suicide. Heart broken and shattered I start to think about my friend whom I will never see again. I have so much friends around me who have reduced this pain for me.
August 1 was celebrated as Friendship day and his birthday was on August 5th. I was thinking about him during his birthday week. I miss you my friend, I ll miss you forever, you will always be a star in the beautiful night sky for me.
I dont know if I was his best friend, but he was my only friend in my school days. He will shine on, whenever I watch over the skies, I ll remember him and whenever I listen Pink Floyd's "Shine on you Crazy Diamond", I get reminded of him. Sometimes I just listen to that song forever. I also get reminded of him when I am lonely, it reminds of the days when we were having fun. He was a diamond and a crazy one too, he will shine on forever. The song is dedicated to him.
2 comments:
Hi Ivan,
I stumbled upon your blog from your twitter feed. I must say this post brought back memories that have not been evoked since a long time. Our school days, were indeed so lovely and memorable.
After 14 years, your reminded me of Sam. If I remember correctly, I came to know him through Catechism classes in our school, where we had to put up skits/dramas/singing in Francina miss class. While we were in school, I did not get to know him very well and certainly wasn't close to him, but like many others in our class I did have a very high opinion and deep respect for him (I really dont know exactly why, but I am sure it is just not because of his General Proficiency performance, he was much more than just studies). For some reason, his face is still so so clear and vivid in my mind, even to this day.
News of his death comes as a complete shock to me and it makes me sad, but thanks anyway for writing this post. It is my sincere prayer that his soul may rest in peace. Thinking about our school days, it is strange how short life can be, while seeming to last for ever.
Take care, stay in touch.
Regards,
Sathish Paul Leo.
Thanks Paul for the comment. It was a shocking moment. To be honest, he was way above than the others in my class (I guess everyone would agree). I think it pains me because I was able to get hold of him in the 12th and lose him again. He was near yet so far. It seems losing friends has been my hallmark, it seems that one of my other friend (from college), is now missing. After the loss of Sam, he was the one who was quite close and now I have started missing him now, need to find him somehow, unfortuanlety currently in Finland, once I am back in Chennai, that should be the top priority for me. I dont wanna lose another good friend..
lets hope for the best
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